Sadistic and Manipulative
by thatonegirlwiththehat
Summary: All the Peins have the hiccups. It's up to Konan to see he's cured, and not even the other Akatsuki members are safe from her use. It's scare or be scared... and sometimes, both.


"Do it." Konan said, frowning at the rest of the Akatsuki. They cringed at the absolute command and intimidation in her voice.

"_I won't do It._" Said Zetsu. "**Leave me out of this.**"

"I will be leaving now." Itachi said. He and Zetsu tried to leave the room but Konan had barred the doorway with a block made of paper. The two turned around to find Konan's normally stony face dark and her amber eyes gleaming.

"Do it. Now."

"D-deidara-senpai will go first! Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi said as he hid behind Deidara who promptly snatched him by the collar.

"Shut up or I'll kill you, un!" Deidara screamed in Tobi's orange-covered face.

"Konan, please, be reasonable," Kakuzu said. "I have to go take care of our finances -this a waste of my time."

"And mine" Added Sasori.

"..." Konan glared at the two, a less-tahn-benevolent gleam in her eyes.

"Ugh, fine! I'll go! You're all a bunch of #$% pansies! May Jashin-sama torture your souls for the rest of eternity!" Everyone actually let Hidan finish his religious tirade.

Konan moved from the door to let Hidan pass through, and as she did, a loud, ominously echoing sound escaped through the door. Everyone froze.

"Well, Hidan? Are you going to do it or not?" Kisame teased from the safety of his position behind all the other Akatsuki members.

Hidan's head swiveled around, anger practically written on his forehead. "Shut up, you shark-faced heathen!" He turned back to the door, placed one hand on the silver knob, and reached for his scythe. As soon as he had a firm grip on it, ready to draw at whim, he opened the door.

"WHAT -hic!- DO YOU -hic!- WANT?" The rest of the room resounded in a chorus of hiccups from the six Peins. Hidan gulped and looked back to Konan, who gave him a nod.

"Pein, you better block this!" Hidan drew his scythe and swung down at one of the Peins. The force of his swing blew the door closed again. Konan eyed the rest of the Akatsuki as they listened to the noises coming from the room. Bumps, thwacks, screams... no one wanted to open the door, but at a knock, Konan pulled the knob and Hidan -who wasn't looking all that great- stumbled out into the second room.

"AND YOU -hic!- STAY -hic!- OUT!" Another of the Peins thundered. Konan rolled her eyes.

"Kisame. You go." She narrowed her glare at him, making sweat bead on his blue brow like ants cluster around a dropped candy.

"Um..." Kisame said, looking back and forth from Hidan to Konan.

"Don't do it." Hidan coughed. "Freakin' insane. Almost tore of my #$% head!"

"..." Konan's eyes were about to turn into literal orbs of light from the way they were glowing with sheer rage and power.

"This is ridiculous." Itachi said. "Kisame, I'll go with you and we'll finish this nonsense." Kisame nodded, courage renewed, and the two walked into the room with their heads held high.

Twice the racket was heard by each of the Akatsuki members, striking further fear into their hearts.

"Deidara. Get in there." Konan said.

"But I-" The blonde began, interrupted by a harsh shove from Tobi. He tumbled into the door Konan held open.

For a second, everyone saw as he stood up off the ground, looked at something lurking just beyond the view the doorway allowed, and screamed. A flash of light signified one of his explosions and once again, the door slammed shut from the force of the air being blown this way and that in the room.

Kakuzu, Zetsu, Sasori, Tobi, and Hidan listened in horror to the noises, now accompanied by the occasional boom, increased.

"Wouldn't this be easier if you told us what exactly Leader-sama fears?" Kakuzu asked.

"Exactly. Such a waste of time..." Sasori agreed.

"..."

"**Perhaps our Leader is fearless.**" Zetsu said.

"In that case, peanut butter! We'll have to get him peanut butter!" Tobi said. "I'll go get it!"

Once again, Konan blocked the exit with her paper wall. When they turned to her questioningly she revealed a jar, hidden up the sleeve of her red and black cloak.

"_Why didn't you tell us before?_" Zetsu hissed, looking extremely displeased. Kakuzu and Sasori glared at her for their wasted time -Sasori's with his puppets, Kakuzu's with his money.

"Oh, Konan-chan has some! Yay!" Tobi celebrated to himself. No one paid any attention to the masked man.

"..." Kakuzu tilted his head. He could've sworn he saw the hint of a smile on Konans lips.

Bam! The door broke and a limp body sailed across the room along with a few pieces of the door. Konan ducked through the doorway, as the remaining Akatsuki members stared after her.

"**Because she's a manipulative, sadistic little kunoichi.**" Zetsu answered himself.

A blue haired head popped around the doorway, and glared them all back into their collective corners.

The body that had previosuly been thrown across the room sat up, brushed the dust from it's spiky red hair, and surveyed all the frightened members.

"That she is." Said Pein. "That she is."


End file.
